by moyosore ali

updated 02  februaryy 2018

“Everyone is working through some ‘old war’. large or small. Everyone has a ‘scar’ somewhere”

- Nayyirah Waheed.

Insecurity is having little or no confidence about yourself or an aspect of your life/body/work, constantly worrying about what other people think of you. You feel insecure when you have a bad hair day, or a large stain on your shirt, or maybe bigger insecurities like your weight, or a scar on your face, when insecurities creep in you lose your self confidence, you don’t feel safe or protected, it feels like everyone is watching you and judging, . 

Young people are generally ‘the self-absorbed generation’. We are told that Social Media is giving us an exaggerated sense of ourselves; but it is important to know that there is an underlying emotion that influences our behaviour and that is INSECURITY ! 

A recent survey found that 60% of women experience hurtful and self-criticism on a weekly basis. Note that men get insecure too.. Every human does ! There is an internal dialogue that serves as a ‘companion’ to our feelings of Insecurity. It is called the ‘Critical Inner Voice’. The Critical Inner voice is formed perhaps during a painful early life experience when we witnessed hurtful attitudes towards us or those close to us. The experiences we have with our influential early caretakers can be the root of our insecurities as adults.

There are different forms, ways or things we can be insecure about, some of which are; 
1. Insecurity with one’s self
2. Insecurity at work
3. Insecurity in Relationships .....
The above Insecurities all have one thing in common that is ... ‘Lack of Courage’ . Having a bad outlook on everything. 

I can’t tell you it’s going to be easy to summon up the courage to get over your insecurities ; but as they say - One step at a time. Once we have a better sense of where our insecurities come from and the Profound Influence it has on us, we can begin to challenge it.  

Here are simple ways of getting over our Insecurities.

- Accepting all of ourselves - Notice the part of your body and inner self you don’t like - begin to accept that they are part of you and Speak to that part, embrace it and show it a lot of compassion. They are what makes you, you! And they are wonderful. 

- Practice Self-Approval- I’m a believer that this works, trust me on that! You do not need anybody’s approval but yours & yours alone . It doesn’t mean that you don’t want to be appreciated or valued- of course, that can and will happen but appreciate yourself a lot more. That alone, is Gold! 

- Push away every negative vibe- This is self explanatory, just keep up with positivity and that’s all you will ever cherish. 

- Disapprove comparison(s) - If there’s one thing I hate , that will be someone comparing me to another person. It actively harms you and you don’t need that at all. Everybody walks a different path. We all have different Journeys, even the twins from the same womb, born on the same day. The earlier everyone knows that, the better. 

Through all these practices, start to develop a trust in yourself that everything is going to be alright, cliché? Probably. But it’s the real truth. Believe that!

Learn to know what excites you, put a lot of energy into it and watch you Flourish. 

P.S. DO NOT FEED YOUR INSECURITIES!